Sweet, sweet traffic

Angelinos, does it ever end? This god-forsaken traffic? Seriously, my work is SIX miles away from my apartment and I’m forced to allot FORTY minutes to get there. If I wasn’t concerned about showing up a sweaty disheveled mess of embarrassment and stink, I’d run to work every morning in the same amount of time AND get my exercise in. Talk about two birds. This is how I’ve felt for nine of the ten years I’ve lived in Los Angeles. My loathing of traffic was compounded by my car’s lack of sufficient air conditioning and the fact that I don’t have CDs anymore and that’s what might car likes to eat. Or should I say… my OLD car. Yes, yes, this aforementioned tone of rage and discontent is over forever. Why, you might ask? Well I’ll tell you. It’s my new Nissan Altima.

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To be fair, I miss my old car. I don’t miss it because it worked very well, in fact it broke down on the 10 freeway in the middle of the night. I miss it because I drove across country in it, I off-roaded in the desert with it, I invested many futile dollars into it… until it could go no further. That terrible night on the 10 proved to start a chain reaction of events that has led me to a place of relaxation and happiness I never thought I’d get to in Los Angeles. My new Nissan Altima is beautiful. Objectively. When I look at it, I feel such a sense of misplaced pride, as though it loves me or I built it. These odd feelings aside, I love this car because I honestly feel as though it loves me. Not only is driving it (even in stop and go traffic) smooth and delightful, it connects to my phone using magical alien technology known as blu-tooth! Obviously I’m not a tech genius, but I am a consumer with high standards, and the fact that I can listen to my podcasts or Pandora or talk on the phone, all without taking my eyes off the road seems paramount to the Red Sea parting in the Exodus! Also, this car comes as a hybrid! Yes, I’m shouting it. With a hybrid I get to save money on gas, I get to tell my friends while looking down my nose at them that I drive a hybrid, and most of all, I save money!

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Truly, this is just the tip of the iceberg on why I love my car. It makes me feel more successful and confident, and the real deal sealer is that it is reasonably priced. And this is coming from a television assistant who makes the same in a week as he did shoveling driveways in Boston in the 90s. If you’re interested in changing your life for the better, don’t work in entertainment and get a new Nissan at either Nissan Los Angeles or Downtown Nissan.

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